Sex Extra

Sex is fun - not a serious affair - by Osho

2007-04-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

Ordinary sex: For most people the sex act is a release of tension, or as Osho puts it, 'it's like a good sneeze'. If a man feels an overflow of sexual energy, he usually wants to release it as quickly as possible in order to relax. However, if he ejaculates, there will be a waste of energy.
Tantric sex: When the sexual act is practised with meditative awareness and without loss of the seminal fluids, there is no loss of energy, and the act is not followed by fatigue and a feeling of the blue. On the contrary, following the Tantric sexual act vital energy is multiplied and conserved. When both partners melt with each other, vital energy is exchanged between the masculine and the feminine, and the energy build to higher levels.

The Indian master Osho says: 'If you are not in a hurry to finish the act, it by and by becomes less sexual and more spiritual. Sex organs also melt into each other. A deep silent communion happens between two body energies, and then you can remain for hours together. This togetherness moves deeper and deeper as time passes. But don't think. Remain with the moment deeply merged. It ecomes an ecstasy, a samadhi, cosmic consciousness' (Osho: Book of Secrets, p. 468).

Quotes from Osho:
“Sexuality is a simple, biological phenomenon. It should not be given so much importance. Its only significance is that the energy can be transformed into higher planes.”
"The feeling of emptiness that is overtaking the whole Western mind is just because of sexual wastage."
“Sex has to be transformed – neither repressed nor indulged. And the only possible way to transform sex is to be sexual with deep meditative awareness”
“And if you become meditative, you will come to realize a new fact. That fact is that it is not sex that gives you bliss, it is not sex that gives you the ecstacy. Rather, it is a thoughtless state of the mind and total involvement in the act that gives you a blissful feeling.”

Controlling the orgasm through conscious breathing

The more you can open up to these feelings, the more orgasmic energy you can contain. When the sexual act is done with meditative awareness, you can expand a space of consciousness in the etheric or emotional body, and enjoy the sexual energy longer without wasting it.
In order to prevent a physical orgasm, prolong the pleasurable feelings and preserve the energy, the ANS must be controlled and kept in balance. This is best done by using relaxed, conscious breathing while you meditate. If the ANS is kept in balance without large fluctuations, the energy will try to rise through the middle channel called Sushumna up through the chakras and eventually reach the brain. This is a very difficult exercise, and in most people the energy will try to rise through either the Ida or Pingala channel activating the corresponding parasympathetic or sympathetic systems.

However, non-excitatory sex done with meditative awareness makes it possible to hold the energy in the etheric body in an ever expanding space of conscious awareness. This exercise will only be successful if you manage to control your breathing while you are consciously observing the energy. Margo Anand, Tantric Sexual Master trained by Osho says: “…you should train yourself to become accustomed to containing more and more orgasmic energy without immediate release.”

In the above brainmap from a woman experiencing a full blown physical orgasm, the brain explodes in very high brain wave frequencies such as beta and gamma activity representing high energy levels. This activation of the brain is a result of a strong excitation of the sympathetic nervous system.

Tantra Kama Sutra Sex and Taoist Sexology - How to Have Transcendental Sex

2007-04-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

The European West has lost all of its ancient healing and sexual pleasure secrets. The older cultures from India and Taoist Asia still retain these metaphysical teachings and techniques. Take a peek at what you've been missing.

What is Tantric Sex?

2007-04-24T20:06:00.000-07:00

TANTRIC SEX is meditative, spontaneous and intimate lovemaking Through it you learn to prolong the act of making love and to channel, rather than dissipate. potent orgasmic energies moving through you, thereby raising the level of your consciousness. Tantra transports your sexuality from the plane of doing to the place of being. There is no goal in Tantric sex, only the present moment of perfect and harmonious union. Tantra teaches you to revere your sexual partner and to transform the act of sex into a sacrament of love.

Tantra teaches that lovemaking between a man and woman, when entered into with awareness, is a gateway to both sexual and spiritual ecstasy. In India, traditional Tantrikas spent many years under the guidance of a spiritual teacher and engaged in elaborate yogic rituals to purify and master the body and mind. These practices were intended to awaken the powerful psychic energies through which the adept could enter into higher states of consciousness When a disciple was deemed ready he or she partook in sexual rites with a partner.
Through the sacred act of love, they sought to merge the dual nature of their sexuality into an ecstatic union. Through this came the harmonization of their own internal masculine and feminine polarities and a realization of the blissful nature of the Self.

by Nitya Lacroix

Sex Addiction FAQ

2007-04-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

1. What is sex addiction? Sex addiction is a way some people medicate their feelings and/or cope with their stresses to the degree that their sexual behavior becomes their major coping mechanism for stresses in their life. The individual often can not stop this sexual behavior for any great length of time by themselves. The sex addict spends a lot of time in the pursuit of his or her sexual behavior/fantasy or they may have a binge of sexual behaviors.

2. Why do people become sexually addicted? This is different for every sex addict but generally speaking there are biological, psychological, and spiritual reasons. The following is a short explanation of each reason why someone can become a sex addict. The biological addict is someone who has conditioned their body to receive endorphins and enkephlines (brain chemicals) primarily through reinforcing a fantasy state with the ejaculation that provides these chemicals to their brain. Psychologically, the need to medicate or escape physical, emotional or sexual abuse can demand a substance, the early addict finds the sex medicine usually before alcohol or drugs. Spiritually, a person is filling up the God hole in them with their sexual addiction. The addiction is their spirituality, it comforts them, celebrates them and is always available and present. Then there is the sex addict who can be two or even three of the above reasons. This is why a specialist in sex addiction is the best route for recovery with sex addiction.

3. What’s the difference between sex addiction and a high sex drive? I have heard this question on almost every national talk show or radio show I have been on over the years. A person with a high sex drive is satisfied with sex. It's not about a fix for something; when their partner says "NO" it doesn't make them go off the handle thinking their partner is totally rejecting them and have to leave the house or act out in some other way. If you can relate to this the chances are there may be an addiction issue.

4. Can you be addicted to masturbation? Yes, this is by far the most common sex addiction that I have treated in working with sex addiction. This usually is the first sexual behavior many of us will have on a repeated basis. This is usually where the sexual compulsion starts with sex addicts and this behavior, regardless of other acquired behaviors, usually stays active.

5. What role does pornography play in sex addiction? Pornography for many sex addicts combined with regular masturbation is the cornerstone for most sex addicts. Many sex addicts have great difficulty getting sober from this combination of behavior. The pornography with fantasy creates an unreal world that the sex addict visits throughout their adolescence and other developmental stages and creates an object relationship that conditions their emotional and sexual self to depend upon these objects and fantasies to meet their emotional and sexual needs hundreds of times before having sex with a real person.

6. Can someone be a sex addict and not be sexual with their spouse or committed relationship? YES! We call this later stage of sex addiction, sexual anorexia. In this stage of sex addiction, the addict prefers the fantasy world and fantasy sex with themselves or others instead of relational sex with their spouse or partner. The addict/anorexic avoids relational sex and hence this couple has sex infrequently and often at the partners request not the addict/anorexics.

7. What is it like to live with a sex addict from a partner’s or wife’s perspective? The partners/wives of sex addicts report many similar feelings about living with the sex addict. The feeling of aloneness is a common experience with partners of sex addicts, the sense that he can't open up and tell you about his "real" self. The confusion of even after you do certain behaviors that this still is not enough and the hopelessness that there isn't enough. Anger for many different unmet needs as a person and as a woman are often common.

8. Can partners get help even if the sex addict doesn’t? Yes, even if the addict stays in denial of their addiction the partner can receive help and support for herself. The feelings of anger, loss, loneliness and many other feelings encountered over the years of living with this addiction will effect a person. These feelings need to be dealt with therapeutically whether they stay married to the addict or not. The addiction was in no way your doing as a partner or wife, the addicts addiction started many years before you even met your addict. This addiction would have grown and damaged anyone they would have related to in any relationship.

9. Is there recovery for sex addiction? Yes, there is recovery for sex addiction. This recovery takes time and hard work especially in the first year but with guided help the sex addict can experience restoration in their emotional, relational, sexual, financial and even spiritual lives. I have seen marriages made better than they ever were and addicts live much happier lives than they ever thought possible. I have been in successful recovery over eleven years and I know it's available for those who choose to work for and maintain recovery.

10. Is there research on sex addiction available? There is research being done in the field of sexual addiction. The monitored mail list of Heart to Heart Counseling centers provides weekly research information as well as excerpts from 101 Practical Exercises for sexual addiction recovery as well as Twelve Step discussions.

11. Can women be sex addicted? Yes! The number of women desiring treatment is growing significantly. The behaviors are the same as their male counterparts including: masturbation, pornography, internet activity, anonymous encounters and affairs. Over twenty recovering female sex addicts contributed in writing She Has a Secret: Understanding Female Sexual Addiction. This book plus the Secret Solutions Workbook, with over 115 helpful techniques for recovery is just for her. If you would like to set up a telephone counseling appointment to start your journey of recovery, call today. There is hope for female sex addicts to recovery.

12. Is there any way to help our children not become sexually addicted? Yes! Even though many of our adult male clients report that their fathers were sex addicts (porn, affairs, prostitutes etc.) they also report getting little to no proper sexual information to balance their sexual perspective. Good Enough to Wait is the first video of this kind to help your children understand sex and the brain, the long-term affects of pornography, long term sexual satisfaction and a whole lot more. This is the best combination of sex research and spiritual principles to date for youth to watch to give them a proper and currently informed sex talk.

by Dr. Doug Weiss

Dynamic Sex: Unlocking the Secret to Love

2007-04-23T07:25:00.000-07:00

"A fulfilling love life. How can I have one? How can I get the most out of sex? " University students worldwide ask these questions. Why? Because both pleasure and emotional fulfillment are important facets of sex.
Sex is often on our minds. According to two psychologists at the universities of Vermont and South Carolina, 95% of people think about sex at least once each day. {1} You might wonder, "You mean that 5% of the people don't?"

One way not to have a dynamic sex life is to concentrate solely on technique. There is certainly nothing wrong with learning sexual technique--especially the basics--but technique by itself is not the answer.

A good relationship is important for good sex. Psychiatrist and bestselling author Anthony Pietropinto and coauthor Jacqueline Simenauer write, "When emotional issues involving anger or a need to control are encountered on the road to sexual fulfillment, the journey is interrupted until these conflicts are resolved."{2}

Many sex therapists agree that great technique does not guarantee great sex. They emphasize that the qualities that contribute to a successful sex life are the same ones that contribute to a successful interpersonal relationship. Qualities like love, commitment and communication.

by Rusty Wright

Oral Sex = Safe Sex? No Way!

2007-04-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

By Elizabeth Marchetta, 17, Staff Writer
Originally Published: Feb 24, 2004
Revised: Feb 26, 2007

Oral sex and intercourse are two very different things, says Kat, 16, of New Jersey. With oral sex, you get gratification without any of the consequences of actually having sex.
Laura, 15, of North Carolina, puts it another way. "I do everything except intercourse because you can be pleasured without intercourse," she says.
Unfortunately, what these teens don't know could give them a lifelong disease.
Photo by Mat Linek
Too many teenagers think that because oral sex doesn't present the risk of pregnancy, it is harmless. They don't realize that many sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are just as easily transmitted through oral sex as through vaginal or anal sex, says Connie Poor, a sex educator at the HiTOPS (Healthy Interested Teens Own Program on Sexuality) clinic in Princeton, New Jersey. Herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, HIV, and syphilis can all be transmitted through oral sex.
Poor says teens come to her clinic mystified because they've gotten an STD without having intercourse. "When teens tell me they're abstinent," she says, "the first thing I ask them is what they're abstaining from and what their definition of sex is."
A recent online survey conducted by Twist magazine showed that 25 percent of teens who called themselves virgins had engaged in oral sex. In fact, most teens don't see oral sex as anything close to intercourse; instead, they believe it to be much more casual and risk-free. And, teens have varying opinions about whether oral sex can be part of a sexually abstinent relationship.
Abstinence means no penetration, says Sam, age 17. "You can do anything up to that point, oral sex and all, and still be considered a virgin. There's a huge gap between oral sex and intercourse."
Seventeen-year-old Julia says, "With oral sex, you don't get the emotional attachment that comes with intercourse. Oral sex isn't real sex; it's much more casual, and it comes with a lot fewer responsibilities."
Jane, 16, disagrees, voicing a more health-conscious opinion. According to her, "Abstinence is restraining from any kind of sex — oral, vaginal, or anal. By having any type of sex you come into contact with sperm and other fluids. You can't do that and be a virgin."
Having different definitions of sex and abstinence is OK, says Poor, but teens still need to be educated about all types of sex and protect themselves. Protection is very accessible. Condoms and dental dams (a square of latex that covers a female's genitals) provide good protection for oral sex and come in a variety of flavors.
So, while people may have different opinions about oral sex, one thing is clear—everyone should be aware of the health risks and take proper steps to be safe.

How do I know if I have AIDS?

2007-04-09T09:46:00.001-07:00

You cannot tell whether a person is infected with HIV or has developed AIDS by how they look and appear to you.
A person infected with HIV is diagnosed as having AIDS when they develop an AIDS defining illness. This is the result of HIV weakening their immune system to the point at which it has difficulty fighting off infections that would otherwise be controlled by a healthy immune system. Because these illness take advantage of an infected persons immune system to cause illness, they are also know as opportunistic infections.
In many countries anti-viral drugs are available to people with HIV to help reduce the rate at which HIV weakens the immune system. There are also drugs available to prevent and treat some of the specific opportunistic infections.

What are the first symptoms of HIV infection?

2007-04-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

The only way to know for sure whether you are infected with HIV is to have an HIV antibody test.
The symptoms of initial HIV infection are not very specific. If a person is infected, a few weeks after infection some people experience a flu-like illness. Only a fifth of people experience symptoms which are serious enough to require a doctor's attention.
Several years after infection a person may experience symptoms of particular illnesses and cancers. These are the result of the infected person's immune system being damaged by HIV to the point where it is no longer able to fight off these opportunistic infections.
In each case, HIV infection is difficult to diagnose with out having taken an HIV antibody test first.

What is the risk of HIV transmission via oral sex?

2007-04-09T09:37:00.000-07:00

The risk of HIV transmission from an infected partner through oral sex is much smaller than the risk of HIV transmission from anal or vaginal sex. Because of this, measuring the exact risk of HIV transmission as a result of oral sex is very difficult. In addition, since most sexually active individuals practice oral sex in addition to other forms of sex (such as vaginal and/or anal sex) when transmission occurs, it is difficult to determine whether or not it occurred as a result of oral sex or other more risky sexual activities. Finally, several co-factors can increase the risk of HIV transmission through oral sex, including oral ulcers and wounds, bleeding gums, genital sores, genital or oral piercings, and the presence of other STDs.
When scientists describe the risk of transmitting an infectious disease, like HIV, the term "theoretical risk" is often used. Very simply, "theoretical risk" means that passing an infection from one person to another is possible, even though there may not yet be any actual documented cases. "Theoretical risk" is not the same as likelihood. In other words, stating that HIV infection is "theoretically possible" does not necessarily mean it is likely to happen - only that it might. Documented risk, on the other hand, is used to describe transmission that has actually occurred, been investigated, and documented in the scientific literature.
Various scientific studies have been performed around the world to try and document and study instances of HIV transmission through oral sex. A programme in San Francisco studied 198 people, nearly all gay or bisexual men. The subjects stated that they had only had oral sex for a year, from six months preceding the six-month study to its end. 20 per cent of the study participants (39 people) reported performing oral sex on partners they knew to be HIV positive. 35 of those did not use a condom and 16 reported swallowing cum. No one became HIV positive during the study, although the small number of participants performing oral sex on HIV positive partners meant the researchers could only say that there was a less than 2.8 per cent chance of infection through oral sex over a year.1 In 2000, a different San Francisco study of gay men who had recently acquired HIV infection found that 7.8 per cent of these infections were attributed to oral sex.2 However, the results of the study have since been called into question due to the reliability of the participants' data.
In June 2002, a study conducted amongst 135 HIV negative Spanish heterosexuals, who were in a sexual relationship with a person who was HIV positive, reported that over 19,000 instances of unprotected oral sex had not led to any cases of HIV transmission.3 The study also looked at contributing factors that could affect the potential transmission of HIV through oral sex. They monitored viral load and asked questions such as whether ejaculation in the mouth occurred and how good oral health was. Amongst HIV positive men, 34 per cent had ejaculated into the mouths of their partners. Viral load levels were available for 60 people in the study, 10 per cent of whom had levels over 10,000 copies. Nearly 16 per cent of the HIV positive people had CD4 counts below 200. The study, conducted over a ten year period between 1990 and 2000, adds to the growing number of studies which suggest varying levels of risk of HIV transmission from oral sex when compared to anal or vaginal intercourse.
At the 4th International Oral AIDS Conference held in South Africa, the risk of transmission through oral sex was estimated to be approximately 0.04 per cent per contact.4 This percentage figure is a lot lower than the two American figures, because this figure is a risk per contact percentage, whereas the other figures are percentage risks over much longer time periods. Oral sex is still regarded as a low-risk sexual activity in terms of HIV transmission, but only when more work is done will we be clearer as to the risks of oral sex.

How can HIV be transmitted during oral sex?

2007-04-09T09:36:00.002-07:00

HIV (and indeed hepatitis B, which is more infectious) can pose a small risk for both the active (person giving the oral stimulation) and receptive (person receiving oral stimulation) partner.
Transmission from an HIV positive receptive partner to an HIV negative active partner may occur when the active partner gets sexual fluid (semen or vaginal fluid) or blood (from menstruation or a wound somewhere in the genital or anal region) into a cut, sore, ulcer or area of inflammation somewhere in their mouth or throat. The linings of the mouth and throat are very resistant to viral infections such as HIV, so infection is unlikely if they are healthy.
Transmission from an HIV positive active partner to an HIV negative receptive partner is generally believed to be less common. This is because HIV it is normally only present in saliva in very low levels that are not sufficient to cause infection. The only risk in this scenario would be from bleeding wounds or gums in the HIV positive person’s mouth or on their lips, which may transfer blood onto the mucous membranes of the other person’s genitals or anus, or into any cuts or sores they may have. Hepatitis C can also be transmitted this way.

What is oral sex?

2007-04-09T09:36:00.001-07:00

Oral sex involves giving or receiving oral stimulation (i.e. sucking or licking) to the penis, the vagina, and/or the anus. Fellatio is the technical term used to describe oral contact with the penis. Cunnilingus is the technical term which describes oral contact with the vaginal area. Anilingus (sometimes called "rimming") refers to oral-anal contact.

How does the law in my country/state apply when having sex?

2007-04-09T09:35:00.001-07:00

Laws about sex vary depending on which country or which state (if you are in the US) you live in. The most important thing to know however is the age of consent. This is the age at which it is legal to have sex. In England and Wales, the law says that it's illegal for a boy to have sex with a girl or a boy who is under sixteen. In other places, the age of consent may be older of younger than this, and it may be that there is a maximum age gap that is permitted between partners. To find out about the law and the age of consent where you live, please visit our page on Teen sex for further details.

How often do people have sex?

2007-04-09T09:33:00.001-07:00

Sexual appetite is entirely a matter of personal taste. Some people have sex once a day and others once a month. It probably varies for most people depending on whether they are in a relationship, how busy they are and how they feel. Most people think about sex far more often than they do it.

Is too much masturbation bad for you?

2007-04-09T09:32:00.001-07:00

It will depend on which country you are in, but in the UK and USA anyone can buy condoms from chemists and supermarkets. Condoms are often available from vending machines in public toilets. In some countries condoms are available free or at low-cost from clinics.

How do you masturbate?

2007-04-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

Men usually masturbate by rubbing their penis and moving their foreskin up and down until they ejaculate (come/cum). Women rub their clitoris and vulva and may move a finger up and down inside their vagina until they orgasm.
For more about masturbation, see http://www.jackinworld.com/

Is there any way of finding out whether a girl is a virgin or not without going to the doctors?

2007-04-09T09:26:00.001-07:00

Girls have a thin membrane that covers the entrance to their vagina called a hymen. This is often broken during first intercourse, so that can be one way of telling. However the hymen often breaks before then, from horseback riding, a regular gynaecological examination or inserting a tampon. The only way of knowing is to ask the girl herself.

Where is the clitoris and what is it?

2007-04-09T09:25:00.001-07:00

The clitoris is a small pea-sized object on the exterior of the vagina just above the vulva. It is very sensitive and when stimulated can lead to orgasm. Click here to go to a diagram of the female sex organs.

Where is the G-spot and what is it?

2007-04-09T09:24:00.002-07:00

The G-spot is a controversial term as some sex researchers dispute its existence. However most believe it is an area located behind the front wall of the vagina, between the back of the pubic bone and the cervix. When stimulated, it can produce intensely pleasurable feelings for the woman, and may cause her to have an orgasm.

Does my vagina look the way it should?

2007-04-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

Vaginas are all different shapes and sizes, so there is no real set appearance, as everyone's bodies are different.
A woman's sex organs are protected by two thick folds of skin or "lips" called labia. Inside these is another set of lips known as the inner labia. These are thinner than the outer labia and are usually slightly different lengths. Also, it is quite normal for a woman to find that the inner labia stick out below the outer labia. Click here to go to a diagram of the female sex organs.

What is the average penis size?

2007-04-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

Penis size differs from person to person. The average length when erect is 11-18cm (4 1/4-7in) but there maybe some variation between different cultures

How do you have sex?

2007-04-09T09:20:00.000-07:00

Having sex intercourse is actually quite simple. When a man's penis becomes hard, he places it inside a woman's vagina, and moves it in and out. This creates friction which is pleasurable for both the man and the woman. After a while, this friction will usually cause the man to have an orgasm and ejaculate. It may also cause the woman to have an orgasm, although it can take a bit of experimentation and practice to get it right!
You can have sex in lots of different positions, but one of the most common and intimate ways is for the man to lie on top of the woman, so that they can kiss and cuddle while having sex.